Blogging During Personal Tragedy
Updated: May 29, 2020
How to keep writing, blogging, and finding inspiration during personal tragedy.
Life happens to all of us. If you’re reading this, you have either experienced tragedy or you will. You can’t be alive on this Earth and not experience personal tragedy. At least, not as far as I know.
If we stayed safely as spirits in our heavenly realm never experiencing pain, suffering, tragedy, stress, and death, we would never grow to become the beautiful unique spiritual being God planned for us.
If you want to follow the path of any great spiritual leader (like Jesus is for me), you will see that their path is not an easy one to follow. That's how it was meant to be. If you want to have unwavering faith, want to experience great wisdom and compassion, learn all the various types and depths of Love, the way will be very difficult.
This week when deciding on what to blog about, it was really challenging. If you aren’t aware, I am heading towards the end of another personal tragedy with my husband's terminal illness.
Current Personal Tragedy
As near as I can calculate, my husband has been living with FTD (Frontotemporal Degeneration) for about twenty years now. I’ve been his Caregiver at home for the last few years as the disease progressed and he was no longer safe. There is no way to accurately describe this part of the journey. There are no words. It’s just tragic.
I could blog about an art technique, painting style, or how to compose the perfect photo, but that isn’t what this blog is about. (Because painting, gardening, and photography are my passions, I will undoubtedly add bits and pieces of these topics here and there). But not this post.
At this point, the human side of me would find it easy to just walk away from writing, not add another responsibility to my long list. Life is filled with choices and consequences.
But, when you read my mission statement, well, I can’t just walk away. I’ve made a serious spiritual commitment that requires a physical follow-through.
So dealing with so much this past week, what was I to do?
I’m a human being. I have limitations. I’m dealing with anticipatory grief. Exhaustion. I’m not sleeping well. Each day I’m on pins and needles wondering what is going to happen next. Each time my husband stands (with great effort), I’m praying he won’t fall. The hospital is the least safe place to be during this pandemic.
How do you sort out all of your emotions and thoughts, find clarity and inspiration when you are so conflicted?
Finding Something To Be Grateful For
Sometimes, I have to take some quiet time. I meditate on how God has helped me through other challenging times in my life. As they say, this isn’t my first rodeo. It was time for prayer.
I thought back to all of the other times I felt that He took me right up to the edge, right where the peek over the edge was downright scary. But, He always gave me strength and courage to turn back around and face whatever my current difficulty was, with the sure knowledge that I wasn't facing it alone.
Thessalonians 5:16-18 ~ “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 ~ “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
As an only child, I learned how to entertain myself and be alone with my own thoughts. Through the years, I have seen many adults that are very uncomfortable looking inside.
They are afraid of their true self and what they might find there. I took a firm stand years ago to trust God and not provide space for fear. Fear destroys confidence, trust, and faith… if we let it. It’s a choice.
I fully realize all of my shortcomings, weaknesses, and failures... I have faced them and embrace them all as part of my journey. He loves me anyway.
I know that if I look inside, I only find His Spirit dwelling there, loving me unconditionally and waiting to help me. This, too, is a choice. I have invited him into my life, my heart, and my mind.
After reminding myself of this choice and this truth, I found I was centered once again. I felt His Love for me and knew that my suffering doesn’t go unnoticed.
Our situation with this illness can be an experience to open up our hearts and minds to new depths of Love.
After this exercise, I was once again reminded of how Loved I am. In the scheme of things, I am important to Him, just as each one of His children is. I recommitted myself to the mission. All would be okay.
It’s Never Too Late